Funny Jokes

Joke: Teacher: If I say 'I am very beautiful', what tense is that in?
Student: It must be past.

Joke: A blind man walks into a bar and sits for a while with nobody talking to him. He says "Anybody want to hear a blonde joke?"

The bartender tells him "Before you tell it I just want to let you know there is a cage fighting blonde on one side of you and a large blonde softball player on the other side. I'm also a blonde and I can bench 300 pounds. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man replies "Obviously not! I don't have time to explain the joke 3 times."

Joke: What do pirates say on their 80th birthday?

Joke: What's the best part thing about alphabet soup?

Joke: How do you get rid of an itch at home?