Dirty Jokes

Joke: A young couple gets married. They have their wedding and reception. When all the guests have gone, they go up to their room to have sex for the first time. Neither of them have ever had sex before so they both sit nervously on the bed. Finally the wife says okay honey, if you want to have sex with me grab my left tit but if you don't squeeze my right. This gives the new husband and idea so he says to her, ok honey, if you want to have sex with me grab my dick but if you don't, pull on it 55 times or more.

Joke: What word is better for a woman than a pizza?

Joke: What word is better for a pizza than a woman?

Joke: My Dixie Wrecked!

Joke: In class, the teacher says to Johnny, "You're so smart Johnny if there were 4 crows on a fence & you shot one how many would be left?" Johnny thinks & quickly replies "none teacher" "and how'd you figure that, Johnny?" asks the teacher. Well, the other three would fly away. "I like the way you're thinking", smiles the teacher. "OK teacher you're so smart I got me a question for you. There is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead with ice creams; one's biting it, another licking it, and another sucking long & hard on it.. how can you tell which ones married?" The teacher ponders and bashfully replies, "the one sucking it?" "No", replies Johnny. "The one wearing the wedding ring but I like the way you're thinking."