Dirty Jokes

 

95 ratings
3 saves

Joke: Tom's wife has been in a coma for months. Her attendants have noticed that every time they wash her crotch she moves a little bit. Desperate, they ask Tom if he would perform oral sex on his wife in an attempt to wake her up. Tom agrees and asks for some privacy in the room. Soon after, he rushes out in a panic and says, "I think she's choking!"


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20 ratings
1 saves

Joke: A guy sleeps with a $5 hooker and gets crabs.

The next day he goes back to complain and the hooker laughs and says, "What did you expect for $5... lobster?"


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4 ratings
1 saves

Joke: A woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks them for 2 tattoos. She wants a Christmas tree on one of her thigh and a turkey on the other. When they finished the tattoos the artist asked her why she got those tattoos.

She replied 'My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.'


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32 ratings
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Joke: What do you get when you put 50 lesbians in a room with 50 lawyers?


Punch line: A hundred people who do not do dick.


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42 ratings
2 saves

Joke: Mom was cleaning Junior's room one day and she found a bondage magazine under his bed.

This mad he very upset. She put it back under his bed until his father got home and showed him.

He gave it a look and handed it right back to her without a word, so she asked him, 'What should we do about this?'

Dad paused and said, 'Well I don't think you should spank him.'


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