Dirty Jokes

Joke: Trevor has a dance coming up and he wants to ask out Sally. He would do anything to go with her and he knows she doesn't have a date. The only problem is that whenever he sees her he gets an extremely large boner. Before he asks her, he practices not getting a boner but nothing works. So he decides to just call her so he doesn't risk a boner. So he calls her and stutters through the words, but she thinks it is cute so she accepts.

At this point he realizes he didn't find a solution to the problem he just put it off. But then he has a great idea! He ties his penis to his leg to conceal the boner. On the day of the dance he heads over to her house and knocks on the door. She answers the door and he kicks her in the face.

Joke: A man walks up to a house and knocks on the door. A woman answers the door and the man yells "Do you have a vagina?" The woman slams the door in his face. He knocks again and asks the same question, this time she replies "Go away!" This continues for hours.

The woman tells her husband about this and he decides to stay home the next day. Sure enough they see the man coming to the door. The husband hides and his wife answers the door. The man yells "Do you have a vagina?" The woman answers yes. Then the man tells her "Does your husband know that? Maybe if he did he would stop using my wife's."

Joke: A man and a woman, who are both married to other people, find themselves forced to share a hotel room for a night. They feel weird at first, but they both fall asleep in their separate beds.

After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, "Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."

The woman responds, "Or we could just pretend to be married for the night?"

The man replies, "That would be amazing."

The woman smiles and says, "Okay. Get your own fucking blanket!"

Joke: Mom was cleaning Junior's room one day and she found a bondage magazine under his bed.

This mad he very upset. She put it back under his bed until his father got home and showed him.

He gave it a look and handed it right back to her without a word, so she asked him, 'What should we do about this?'

Dad paused and said, 'Well I don't think you should spank him.'

Joke: How many guys in the friend zone it take to screw in a light bulb?