Dirty Jokes

Joke: Sally has been feeling harassed by one of her coworkers, John. She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do?"

She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

Her boss replies, "That's not really sexual harassment."

Sally says, "He's three feet tall."

Joke: A man and a woman, who are both married to other people, find themselves forced to share a hotel room for a night. They feel weird at first, but they both fall asleep in their separate beds.

After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, "Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."

The woman responds, "Or we could just pretend to be married for the night?"

The man replies, "That would be amazing."

The woman smiles and says, "Okay. Get your own fucking blanket!"

Joke: A little boy catches his dad looking at porn and asks him "Dad, what's that between the guys legs?"

The father responds "That's his third leg."

Then the little boy asks "What about that lady?"

The father replies "Well that's her second mouth."

The little boy thinks for a while and says "Is that why guys walk so fast and women talk so much?"

Joke: Mrs. Smith asks her class, "What part of the body grows ten times larger when stimulated?"

The class is silent so the teacher asks them again. This time a little girl named Emily raises her hand, "Mrs. Smith, you shouldn't be asking seventh graders this kind of question. I'm going to tell my parents."

Mrs. Smith ignores her and calls on Jimmy. He answers, "The pupil in your eye."

Mrs. Smith replies, "Very good Jimmy," then she turns to Emily, "Now for you young lady, I have three things to tell you. First, you have a very dirty mind. Second, you didn't do your homework. Third, you are going to be very disappointed."

Joke: A doctor told a man, "You're going to have to stop masturbating."

The man asked him "Why?"

The doctor replied "It is extremely distracting."