Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: One morning a husband and wife are having sex and the wife says 'the Viagra is great! let me fix us a wholesome breakfast.' The husband says 'No, I'm not hungry after I take Viagra.'

Later that day, the wife says 'Honey, I want to do something nice for you, let me make you a big lunch.' The husband refuses once again, 'The Viagra just takes away all of my hunger.'

A long time after dinner she asks 'Are you hungry yet? I'll make you a steak dinner'. The husband continues to say he isn't hungry, 'The Viagra just kills my appetite.' But the wife firmly says 'I don't care. I'm getting something to eat, so get off of me!'


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Joke: A grandpa sees his grandson has a condom in his wallet and asks him "What's that?"

The grandson embarrassed, replies "They keep your cigarettes dry in the rain."

The following day the grandpa sees a man buying condoms and cigarettes at a gas station and tries to start a conversation "I bet your gonna put a long camel in those."


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Joke: A military captain approaches a prostitute and asks her, "Would you enjoy my company for $100?"

She replies, "Of course, a handsome military man like you."

The captain turns around, "COMPANY! FORWARD!"


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Joke: I know a black guy that is dating a white chick that swears he has never eaten a cracker.


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Joke: Did you hear about the leper that had trouble masturbating?


Punch line: He pulled it off.


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