Dirty Jokes

Joke: One day Tom sees Joe's wife naked sunbathing in their backyard. When Tom sees Joe he brags "I've seen your wife naked."

To get back at him Joe sneaks into Tom's yard the next night and sees his wife performing oral sex. Joe sees Tom a couple of days later and tells him "Guess what? I saw your wife giving you oral a couple of days ago."

Tom laughs and replies "Good try, I wasn't in town a couple of days ago!"

Joke: If you were french, why would you want a seal?

Joke: Mr. Daniels is diagnosed with a rare disease and he only has about 12 hours left to live. His wife begins to cry and tells him that she will give him a night to remember.

Shortly after making love for the first time his wife says "Do you want to go again?" This time it is even better than the first time.

Mrs. Daniels starts to doze off so Mr. Daniels nudges her and asks if they can do it one final time. Mrs. Daniels replies "Easy for you to say, you don't have to get up in the morning."

Joke: A man and his wife go to an art gallery and they come to a piece entitled 'Summer.' It is a painting of a naked woman with leaves covering her. The man's wife asks him "What do you think?"

He replies "I wish it was called Autumn."

Joke: A boy goes to school and he brings his cat. When his teacher asks him why he replies "I heard my dad tell my mom that as soon as I left he was going to eat the p**sy."