Dirty Jokes

Joke: What's the difference between hard and light?

Joke: What's the best way to fix a problem with pedophiles?

Joke: A man takes a job as the cook on a ship just before a long voyage. He looks around the kitchen for a few hours and all he can find is potatoes in the shape of penises.

He finds the captain and asks him, "Captain, what's with all of the penis shaped potatoes? That's all I can find and I don't think I like it."

The captain looks at him sternly and says, "There's nothing you can do about it. This is a dictatorship!"

Joke: A girl hits puberty and starts to grow hair between her legs. She asks her mom what's going on to which she replies, "Don't worry about that, that's your monkey. It's natural that your monkey will grow hair."

Later at dinner the girl tells her older sister, "Guess what? My monkey already started growing hair!."

Her older sister replies, "That's nothing, mine is already eating bananas."

Joke: Two girls, one blonde and one brunette, are walking down the street and they see an attractive guy. They strike up a conversation with him and notice he has dandruff. After they part ways the brunette tells the blonde, "We should give him Head & Shoulders."

The blonde replies "How do you give shoulders?"