Dirty Jokes

Joke: Sally has been feeling harassed by one of her coworkers, John. She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do?"

She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

Her boss replies, "That's not really sexual harassment."

Sally says, "He's three feet tall."

Joke: Little Timmy is walking home from the park and pulling his little red wagon up a hill. As he is getting tired he says "Damn. Fuck this shit."

A nun from the church nearby tells him "Little Timmy! You shouldn't swear like that. God is everywhere and always watching you."

"So he is up in the clouds and in the church?" asks little Timmy.

"Exactly," replied the nun.

Timmy asks "And in my wagon?"

The nun replies "Yes child."

Timmy is suddenly enraged "Well tell him to get his lazy ass out and push!"

Joke: Little Kyle runs into his house one day and immediately confronts his dad, "Dad! I heard these kids at school talking about how awesome a vagina is. What is a vagina, what does it look like?"

The father answers "Well son, before you use it it looks like a beautiful flower."

Kyle asks "What about after you use it?"

The father smiles and asks "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

Joke: A man walks up to a house and knocks on the door. A woman answers the door and the man yells "Do you have a vagina?" The woman slams the door in his face. He knocks again and asks the same question, this time she replies "Go away!" This continues for hours.

The woman tells her husband about this and he decides to stay home the next day. Sure enough they see the man coming to the door. The husband hides and his wife answers the door. The man yells "Do you have a vagina?" The woman answers yes. Then the man tells her "Does your husband know that? Maybe if he did he would stop using my wife's."

Joke: How many guys in the friend zone it take to screw in a light bulb?