Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: A man goes into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have any books for dudes with little dicks?"

She replies, "We have one, I don't know if it's not in yet."

The guy frowns, "That's the one..."


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Joke: How are opinions like assholes?


Punch line: If you get paid to share your opinion with everybody, you must have a large opinion.


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Joke: A kid is doing his science homework and he asks his father, "What is the difference between theory and reality?"

The father replies, "Well... Go ask your sister if she would have sex with the neighbor for $1,000,000."

He goes and does it and comes back, "She said she would."

The father says, "Now go ask your mother."

He goes and does it and comes back, "She said she would too."

To this the father says, "See, in theory we are sitting on $2,000,000. But in reality we just live with a couple of whores."


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Joke: A man goes to a liquor store and buys some expensive beer. While heading home he stops at a gas station to get some gas. A smoking hot blonde pulls up next to him and sees that he has expensive beer. Sensually, she asks him "I'm always up for a good trade. How about sex for beer?"

He replies "What kind of beer do you have?"


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Joke: Why didn't the webcam girl show up to work?


Punch line: She wasn't feeling herself that day.


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