Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man goes to the doctor and tells him, "I don't feel good doc, I have a sharp pain in my ass."

The doctor tells him to turn around and drop his pants for a prostate exam. After beginning the prostate exam, the doctor almost immediately finds a $50 bill, "Did you know you had a $50 bill up there?"

The man replies, "No, I had no idea. But I do feel a little better."

The doctor continues the exam and finds another $50 bill. Then another. And another. After a few minutes he finds the last one and says, "Sir, why in the world did you have $1,950 in your ass?"

The man, feeling much better, replies, "I'm not sure. But I wasn't feeling too grand."

Joke: Three little old ladies are sitting on a park bench feeding birds when a man comes by and flashes them all.

The first two little old ladies both have a stroke, but the third couldn't quite reach.

Joke: A doctor specializing in circumcision retires after 30 years on the job. He kept all of the foreskins from all of the circumcisions he has ever performed. In remembrance of his career, he goes to a leathersmith and tells him to make something out of them.

A week later he presents the doctor with a wallet. The doctor asks him, "This is all you could make out of all of those foreskins?"

The leathersmith replies, "It's kinda cold in here. Stroke it a little and you'll have yourself a briefcase."

Joke: Why couldn't Hitler get a blowjob?

Joke: Three engineers are fighting over what kind of engineer God must be. The first one says, "God must be a mechanical engineer, look at the joints!"

The second engineer says, "No! God must be a electrical engineer, look at the nervous system."

The final engineer says, "It's obvious he is a civil engineer, who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through prime recreational area?"