Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man comes home early from work one day and finds his wife naked in bed. He turns and sees a man's feet coming from the curtains. Angry he goes over and pulls the curtains away saying "Who the hell are you?"

The man replies "Why I'm the moth exterminator."

The husband asks "Why are you naked?"

The man replies "Oh my god. I'm too late!"

Joke: A very religious woman has a parrot that prays. He sits at the bottom of his cage whispering prayers all day. She brags about her bird to everyone she meets.

One day she is bragging and a man says that he has a female parrot who is always swearing. They decide that it would be a good idea to put them together so the female parrot can learn from the praying male parrot.

So the man brings his female parrot over and they put her in the cage. The male parrot looks up at her from his prayer and says "Thank Jesus! My prayers have been answered!"

Joke: A man is checking into a hotel with his family and whispers to the clerk, "I hope the porn channels are disabled."

The clerk whispered back, "Nope, it's just regular porn you sick bastard."

Joke: A man goes to a Japan on business and hires a prostitute for the night. He doesn't speak any Japanese and she barely speaks any English. While they are going at it she yells out, "Gama Su! Gama Su!" Knowing that she has been satisfied he goes to bed.

The next day he plays golf and one of his associates gets a hole in one. Everyone goes crazy, so to enjoy in the excitement he yells, "Gama Su! Gama Su!"

Everybody goes silent and one of his Japanese associates says, "What do you mean wrong hole?"

Joke: A prostitute is on the job for the first day. Trying to make friends, she asks the prostitute next to her, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

The other woman replies, "Nope. But I was swung by my tits once!"