Dirty Jokes

Joke: There are 4 types of orgasms: the Holy Orgasm, the Positive Orgasm, the Accidental Orgasm, and the Fake Orgasm.

The Holy Orgasm sounds like, "Oh God! Oh God!"

The Positive Orgasm sounds like, "Oh yes! Oh yes!"

The Accidental Orgasm sounds like, "Oh shit! Oh shit!"

The fake orgasm sounds like, "Oh *INSERT YOUR NAME HERE*!"

Joke: What gets bigger every time you watch your neighbor's wife undress?

Joke: A blonde woman and her boyfriend are making love when she suddenly freezes and stops moving. Her boyfriend is shocked, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

She replies, "I was watching porn and I saw them doing this, it's called 'buffering'."

Joke: What's the difference between a snowman and snowwoman?

Joke: One morning a boy living on a farm was rudely awoken by his mother, "You don't get to eat breakfast until you finish all of your chores!"

One of his chores was to feed all of the animals. While he was feeding the animals he took his anger out on them. He kicked the pig, punted the chicken, and hit the cow.

When he was done with his chores he sat down for breakfast and his mom brought him a bowl of dry cereal. She told him, "You hit the cow so you don't get any milk. You punted the chicken so you don't get any eggs. You kicked the pig so you don't get any bacon."

Suddenly his father entered the kitchen and tripped over the cat. He got extremely angry and threw the cat out. The boy looked at his mom and said, "Do you want to tell him or should I?"