Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: A guy is driving through the countryside. He looks over at a hill and sees a shepherd fucking a sheep in broad daylight. He yells, "Hey! Where I come from, we sheer 'em!"

The shepherd, without pausing from his activities yells back "Sheer 'em? You can get yer own damn sheep!"


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Joke: What's the difference between good pussy and good weed?


Punch line: You can smell the weed from across the room.


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Joke: A blonde woman brings a letter to the Post Office. The man examines the letter and says it will be $500, surprised she exclaims, "I don't have that much money... I'll do ANYTHING to contact my mother."

He has the blonde follow him into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. She gets on her knees and brings it to her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"


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Joke: Are the Tickle Me Elmo dolls male or female?


Punch line: They're all males because they get two 'test tickles' before being sent to stores!


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Joke: An old married couple was sitting on their porch in rocking chairs.

The old man grabs his wives breasts saying 'if these still made milk we wouldn't need the cows.' The old woman remains silent so he moves his hand.

A little later he reaches over and grabs her crotch and says 'if this still laid eggs we wouldn't need chickens.' The woman remains silent so he moves his hand.

A few minutes later, the woman grabs the old man's dick and says 'if that worked we wouldn't need your brother.'


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