Dirty Jokes

Joke: A husband and wife are having a night in. The wife is in the bathroom and the husband calls to her "Honey, you want to fool around?"

As the wife walks over to the bed she falls on her face and the husband says "Oh no! Honey, are you okay? Come here and I'll kiss it."

After they are done the wife gets up to use the bathroom again and falls once again. The husband looks at her, rolls over, and says "Clumsy bitch."

Joke: One morning a husband and wife are having sex and the wife says 'the Viagra is great! let me fix us a wholesome breakfast.' The husband says 'No, I'm not hungry after I take Viagra.'

Later that day, the wife says 'Honey, I want to do something nice for you, let me make you a big lunch.' The husband refuses once again, 'The Viagra just takes away all of my hunger.'

A long time after dinner she asks 'Are you hungry yet? I'll make you a steak dinner'. The husband continues to say he isn't hungry, 'The Viagra just kills my appetite.' But the wife firmly says 'I don't care. I'm getting something to eat, so get off of me!'

Joke: If a man and a woman get married in Tennessee and they move to Michigan, are they still cousins?

Joke: Why do blondes snort Sweet & Low?

Joke: A woman is golfing with a couple of her friends. On the first hole she sinks a twenty-foot putt. On her way to the second hole she gets stung by a bee. It is extremely painful so she runs off the course to find a doctor. She is extremely lucky and runs into one. He asks her, "Where did the bee sting you?"

She replies, "Between the first and second hole!"

He says, "Well first of all, your stance is way to wide."