Dirty Jokes

 

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Joke: Lisa's mom is doing laundry and Lisa brings in a shirt and says "I've got another dirty shirt."

Her mother who is hard of hearing replies "Come again?"

Surprised Lisa says "No, paint."


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10 ratings
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Joke: Three strangers are sitting at a bar quietly. One of the men goes to the bathroom and the two remaining men start to talk "How's life?"

The other man says "Pretty good, I just got promoted and bought my girlfriend a Mercedes. How about you?"

The other man replies "No complaints. Me and my girlfriend just got a house down in California."

The third man comes back from the bathroom with a grin on his face. The other men ask him why he is so happy and he says "My girlfriend just called me and said she is taking me to California for the weekend in her new Mercedes!"


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Joke: A grandpa sees his grandson has a condom in his wallet and asks him "What's that?"

The grandson embarrassed, replies "They keep your cigarettes dry in the rain."

The following day the grandpa sees a man buying condoms and cigarettes at a gas station and tries to start a conversation "I bet your gonna put a long camel in those."


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Joke: A grandpa sees his grandson has a condom in his wallet and asks him "What's that?"

The grandson embarrassed, replies "They keep your cigarettes dry in the rain."

The following day the grandpa sees a man buying condoms and cigarettes at a gas station and tries to start a conversation "I bet your gonna put a long camel in those."


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Joke: A husband and wife are having a night in. The wife is in the bathroom and the husband calls to her "Honey, you want to fool around?"

As the wife walks over to the bed she falls on her face and the husband says "Oh no! Honey, are you okay? Come here and I'll kiss it."

After they are done the wife gets up to use the bathroom again and falls once again. The husband looks at her, rolls over, and says "Clumsy bitch."


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