Dirty Jokes

Joke: A very old man and a very old lady go to the doctor because they have decided that they want to have children. The doctor hands them a jar and says "Fill this jar up as much as you can and come back in a week."

A week later the couple comes back but the jar is closed and empty. The man explains "I tried using one hand but it cramped so I tried the other and that one cramped too. Then my wife tried but the same thing happened to her. Then we went outside and asked the first lady we could find to try and do it, by she couldn't either!"

The old woman adds "Doctor, could you open the jar for us?"

Joke: What's the female form of Viagra?

Joke: What happened when Jesus went to mount Olive?

Joke: Steve Irwin walks into a bar with his pet crocodile. He sets it on the counter and announces to the bar, "Let's all make a deal. I'm going to put my scrotum in the crocodile's mouth and shut it. After a minute I'll open his mouth and my testicles will be fine. If I can do it, you all get me a beer!"

The entire bar shouts their approval so he opens the crocodile's mouth, puts his genitals in, and shuts its mouth. After a minute of drinking a beer Steve takes his empty bottle and cracks the crocodile over the head with it causing him to open his mouth. Steve takes his genitals out unscathed as promised. Then he announces, "If anyone else can do it I'll give 'em $100!"

After a few minutes of silence a shy blonde woman walks over to him and says, "I'll try that, just don't hit me so hard with the bottle."

Joke: If you have a giant green ball in your right hand and a giant green ball in you left hand, what do you have?