Dirty Jokes

Joke: A priest is walking down the street and as he walks by a prostitute she yells out, "$20 for a handjob!"

He keeps walking but later he asks a nun, "What is a handjob?"

She replies, "$20, same as on the streets."

Joke: Anthony and Maria get married but they can't afford a honeymoon, so they end up going to Maria's parents house for their first night. The next morning Timmy, Maria's little brother, goes to the kitchen for breakfast and asks him mother, "Are Tony and Maria up yet?"

His mother replies, "No."

Timmy says, "Do you want to know what I think?"

His mother replies, "No! I don't want to know what you think. Go to school."

Timmy comes home for lunch and asks, "Are Tony and Maria up yet?"

His mother replies, "No."

Timmy says, "Do you want to know what I think?"

His mother replies, "No I do not, go back to school!"

Timmy comes home after school and asks his mother, "Are Tony and Maria up yet?"

His mother replies, "No."

Timmy says, "Do you want to know what I think?"

His mother replies, "Fine! What do you think?"

Timmy replies, "Last night Tony came into my room for some Vaseline, and I think I gave him super glue."

Joke: Why can't some men date English teachers?

Joke: A guy receives a text from his girlfriend, "Thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative?"

He replies, "What is ternative?"

Joke: Yo mama's such a hoe, she burns more rubber than a racecar driver.