Dirty Jokes

Joke: A man's wife is standing in front of a mirror naked and says "Look at me. I'm fat, wrinkly, and old. Is there anything still good about me honey?"

Her husband responds "You have great eyesight!"

Joke: A blonde man and blonde woman are watching TV and they see that a particular tribe in Africa ties weights around their penis' to make them grow up to 24 inches long. The woman tells the husband that they should do it and he agrees.

The next day she asks him how it is going and he tells her "Half way there."

She asks him "It's 12 inches long?!"

He replies "Nope. But it's black."

Joke: How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?

Joke: Why do blondes snort Sweet & Low?

Joke: Tom and Sally decided to have a little Sunday quickie but had to figure out what to do with their 10-year-old son since they lived in a small apartment. They cleverly sent him out on the balcony and had him report all of the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into action. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."

Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked.

"Their kid is waving at me from their balcony."