Dirty Jokes

Joke: A girl walks up to her father and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"

He looks at her and decides it's time. So he tells her about the birds and the bees, masturbation, sperm, pregnancy, and STD's. After a lengthy speech he asks her, "So what made you ask about sex?"

She replies, dumbfounded, "Mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of sex."

Joke: A man goes to a liquor store and buys some expensive beer. While heading home he stops at a gas station to get some gas. A smoking hot blonde pulls up next to him and sees that he has expensive beer. Sensually, she asks him "I'm always up for a good trade. How about sex for beer?"

He replies "What kind of beer do you have?"

Joke: A man sitting behind a woman on the bus taps her on the shoulder, "Ma'am, I believe you have semen on the back of your jacket."

She replies, "I'm sure it's not semen. It must be yogurt or something."

He says, "I'm pretty sure I don't ejaculate yogurt."

Joke: A woman gets onto a bus and sits in front of a couple of Italian gentlemen. They talk very loudly but she ignores it. But a few minutes later she hears one of them say, "Emma comes first. Then I come. Then two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses come together again. I come again then pee twice. Then I come one last-a-time."

With this the lady turns around and says, "Excuse me! You perverts shouldn't be talking about sex on a bus."

One of them turns around and says, "Whose talking abouta sex? I'm justa teaching him how to spell 'Mississippi'."

Joke: Mr. Daniels is diagnosed with a rare disease and he only has about 12 hours left to live. His wife begins to cry and tells him that she will give him a night to remember.

Shortly after making love for the first time his wife says "Do you want to go again?" This time it is even better than the first time.

Mrs. Daniels starts to doze off so Mr. Daniels nudges her and asks if they can do it one final time. Mrs. Daniels replies "Easy for you to say, you don't have to get up in the morning."