Dirty Jokes

Joke: Four gay men are sitting in a hot tub. Suddenly a blob of cum rises to the surface. One of them says, "Come on, who farted?"

Joke: My friend and I were sitting at the bar and saw some old and sad looking drunks. I laughed and said "That's us in twenty years."

My friend slapped me and said "That's a mirror, dumbass."

Joke: A man walks into a bar and asks for rum and coke. The bartender hands him an apple. The man, surprised, takes a bite of the apple and it tastes like rum.

The bartender says, "Turn it around!"

The man takes a bite and says, "And that's coke!"

Another man came into the bar and orders gin and tonic. The bartender hands him an apple and tells him to take a bite. The man is surprised to taste tonic. The bartender tells him to flip it around and he tastes gin.

A third man comes into the bar and the previous two men excitedly tell him about the apples, "You can order anything and the bartender will give you an apple that tastes like it!"

The man, not believing them, says, "Oh yeah? Give me an apple that tastes like pussy." The bartender hands him an apple and the man takes a bite. He immediately spits it out and yells, "That tastes like shit!"

The bartender says, "Turn it around."

Joke: A very old man and a very old lady go to the doctor because they have decided that they want to have children. The doctor hands them a jar and says "Fill this jar up as much as you can and come back in a week."

A week later the couple comes back but the jar is closed and empty. The man explains "I tried using one hand but it cramped so I tried the other and that one cramped too. Then my wife tried but the same thing happened to her. Then we went outside and asked the first lady we could find to try and do it, by she couldn't either!"

The old woman adds "Doctor, could you open the jar for us?"

Joke: John was a man who, like many people, ate out of boredom. He would often eat things just because they were in front of him.

This is how he lost his job as a gynecologist.