Clean Jokes

Joke: Three men are traveling though the dessert and they are very thirsty. They come to a mysterious water slide in the middle of the dessert that has instructions at the top: "Slide down and yell the drink of your choice and at the bottom you will find a pool of that beverage."

The three men are very excited. The first man slides down and yells "Milk!" He then falls into a pool of water.

The next man goes down and yells "Lemonade!" He falls into a pool full of it.

The final man goes down and overwhelmed with excitement he yells "Weeee!"

Joke: A Jewish man is riding the train reading an Arab newspaper. His friend happens to also be on the train and confronts, "What are you doing reading that?!"

The man replies, "I got sick of the Jewish newspapers. All I ever read about was Jes living in poor conditions, Israel getting attacked, and Jews being persecuted...

Now that I read the Arab newspaper we rule the world! We control the media, run the banks, and are all wealthy. That's much better news!"

Joke: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

Joke: There are three men in a truck driving in a desert. Their names are Manners, Poo, and Shut Up.

Poo falls out of the truck but nobody notices. They finally stop at a gas station and Manners goes back to look for Poo while Shut Up waits at the station.

A policeman approaches Shut Up and asks "What's your name?" He replies "Shut Up." The policeman asks again "What's your name?!" He replies "Shut Up!" Annoyed, the policeman asks "Where are your manners?"

He replies "Gone picking up Poo."

Joke: Teacher: Give me a sentence that starts with the letter, "I".
Student: Okay! I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Don't say 'is' after "I". Always put 'am' after "I".
Student: Okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet!