Clean Jokes

Joke: A girl brings her boyfriend to her house to meet her parents. While eating dinner, the father asks her boyfriend, "So what are you studying?"

He replies, "Philosophy."

The father asks, "What are you going to do with that?"

The boy replies, "I'm not sure, but God will provide."

The father, stunned, then asks, "Do you have any aspirations at all?"

The boy again replies, "No, but I have faith that God will provide."

Later the girl asks her father what he thought. He tells her, "I like him. He's stupid and has no life plans. But he thinks I'm God!"

Joke: A blonde girl is standing next to her school's flagpole. The janitor comes up to her and asks her what she's doing. She replies "I have to find the height of the flagpole for math class."

With this the janitor unscrews the flagpole and lays it down on the ground. He measures it with a measuring tape and tells her "Twenty-five feet, five inches."

She thanks him but as he is walking away she says "What a dummy. I wanted the height, not the width."

Joke: A man is going around stealing all of the toilets at police stations.

Police have nothing to go on.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Theodore!
Theodore who?
Theodore wasn't open, so I knocked!

Joke: What is the only kind of nail carpenters don't like to hammer?