Clean Jokes

Joke: Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.

The Lord's prayer: 66 words.

Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.

The 10 Commandments: 179 words.

The Gettysburg address: 286 words.

The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.

The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words.

Joke: What does somebody who has dyslexia, insomnia, and schizophrenia think about?

Joke: A man in a bar sees a friend at a table drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

"My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000."

"Gee, that's tough," he replied.

"Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000."

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."

"And this month," continued, the friend sadly, "Nothing."

Joke: Which stores have the most attractive baggers?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
De Niro!
De Niro who?
De Niro I get to you, the happier I am!