Clean Jokes

Joke: A man and his blonde wife are sitting inside, by the fire, when the radio announcer comes on: "We are expecting up to a foot of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the even-numbered side of the road." The wife goes out and moves her car.

The next day the same thing happens, and the announcer comes on: "We are expecting up to a foot of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the odd-numbered side of the road." The wife goes out and moves her car.

A few days later the same thing happens and the announcer comes on: "We are expecting up to two feet of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the-" but the power goes out in the middle of the announcement.

The blonde freaks out, "Which side do I put my car on?!"

Her husband tenderly confronts her saying, "How about we just leave the car in the garage this time?"

Joke: Why did the grocery delivery guy get fired?

Joke: A teacher is announcing her classes next speaker for career day, who happens to be a butcher. She says "He has chicken wings, pigs cheeks, and chicken breast."

One of the students blurts out "He must be really funny looking."

Joke: Did you hear that the man who invented the Hokey Pokey died? They couldn't get him into the coffin because they put his left leg in, and then his left leg out. Then they put his left leg in and they shook him all about!

Joke: What's the best way to burn 1000 calories?