Clean Jokes

Joke: Mahatma Gandhi spent most of his time barefoot, covering his feet with calluses. He ate very little, which made him frail. His odd diet also gave him bad breath.

What did this make him?

Joke: Teacher: What is the formula for water?

Johnny: H I J K L M N O.

Teacher: No Johnny, it's H₂O.

Johnny: That's what I said.

Joke: A man and his wife go to the doctor's office. After the doctor sees him he calls in his wife and she asks "Is my husband okay Doctor?"

The doctor replies "Well, he will be if you do everything I say. You have to prepare all of his meals for him every day. You also have to do all of his chores, never nag at him, and most importantly you must massage him three times a day. Do this for about a year and he will live."

Later in the car the husband asks his wife what the doctor said and she replies "He said you were going to die."

Joke: A blonde woman wanted to make her mother proud by naming her first child after her favorite brother. When she introduced her mom to the baby she said "Mom, say hi to 'Uncle John'!"

Joke: Why do chicken coops have two doors?