Clean Jokes

Joke: Little Tommy asks his mom if he can have some animal crackers. His mom gives him a box of crackers and tells him he can have a few. His mom leaves and comes back in a few minutes finding all of the crackers on the floor with Tommy looking through them. His mother asks "What are you doing Tommy?"

Tommy replies "It said don't eat if the seal was already broken. But I can't find a seal!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sham!
Sham who?
Are you calling me fat?

Joke: A man runs into a hospital and yells, "Help! I'm shrinking!"

One of the nurses sits the man down, "We're very busy here today sir, you're going to have to be a little patient."

Joke: John, Phil, and Tyler are driving down a highway and their car breaks down. It's a three hour walk to the gas station. They plan to carry their gas tank there and bring it back full. For the first hour John will tell a happy story, for the next hour Phil will tell a sad story, and for the last hour Tyler will tell a scary story.

After two hours of walking it is Tyler's turn and he says "Okay guys... I forgot the money."

Joke: Why do all math books need therapy?