Chemistry Jokes

Joke: A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician are called into the dean's office at a university. But the dean is called out of the office leaving the three researchers by themselves. Suddenly, a fire ignites in the wastepaper basket.

The physicist quickly says "I got this. All we have to do is lower the temperature of the material until it is below the ignition temperature."

The Chemist says "No, I've got a better idea. Lets take away the fire's oxygen supply so it doesn't have one of its reactants."

As they are arguing the statistician starts running around the room setting everything on fire. The other men yell at him "What are you doing?!"

He replies "I'm just trying to get an adequate sample size."

Joke: Are you made of selenium, xenon, and Yttrium? Because you are SeXeY.

Joke: A girl asks her brother, "What's the difference between socks and cellular division?"

To which he replies, "Not much, they both involve mitosis!"

Joke: Why can't chemists live in every state?

Joke: Gold and fluorine walk into a bar and fluorine starts reacting badly with some of the other people. The bartender gets mad and says "AU, get the F out of here!"