Blonde Jokes


22 ratings
4 saves

Joke: Three blondes are walking in the forest when they come across some tracks. The first blonde says "These are definitely rabbit tracks."

The second blonde says "Are you crazy? These are bear tracks."

The final blonde says "You're both wrong, these are moose tracks."

They argued for hours until finally the train hit them.

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32 ratings
2 saves

Joke: A blonde girl and her boyfriend are at a bar watching the news. Suddenly a news story comes onto the screen, a man is standing on a bridge threatening to jump. The blonde says "I bet you $100 he doesn't jump."

Her boyfriend takes the bet and the man eventually jumps. After the blonde pays her boyfriend he admits to her "I saw this on the news an hour ago, take your money back."

She replies "I saw it too. I just never thought he would jump twice in one day!"

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75 ratings
24 saves

Joke: A blonde, brunette, and red head are waiting in front of the pearly gates when God comes out to greet them "Usually I wouldn't let any of you girls in, but I'm having a good day. I'll give you all a deal. If you can climb my 1000 stair staircase and listen to a joke at each step without laughing I'll let you in." They all agree.

The brunette loses at the 100th step. The red head loses at the 500th step. The blonde makes it to the 999th step and begins to laugh historically. God asks her "You were so close, why did you laugh?"

She replies "I just got the first one."

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58 ratings
3 saves

Joke: What do you call a smart blonde?

Punch line: A golden retriever.

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15 ratings
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Joke: A blonde woman found herself in a blizzard and didn't know what to do. But suddenly she remembered some advice her father had given her, "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, just follow a plow."

Surely enough a plow soon comes by and she follows it. Forty-five minutes later the man driving the plow pulled over and confronted the blonde "What are you doing?"

She replies "My dad said if I get stuck in a blizzard I should follow a plow."

The man with the plow snickers "Well I'm done with Walmart, you want to follow me to Target?"

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