Blonde Jokes

 

25 ratings
9 saves

Joke: A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks the blonde if she wants to play a game, "All you have to do is ask a question and if i get it wrong or don't know it i give you five dollars, then i ask you a question and if you get it wrong you pay me five dollars."

"No," she says, "I just want to sleep."

He keeps asking and she finally gives in when he says if he gets it wrong he will pay her five hundred dollars, but she still only has to pay five dollars.

"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" he asks.

She gives him 5 dollars. "What goes up the hill with four legs and comes down with five?" she asks.

He pulls out his laptop and searches it, but finds nothing. Then he emails his friends. After an hour, he still hasn't got an answer, he hands her 500 dollars. Then he asks her, "So what is the answer?"

She hands him 5 dollars.


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23 ratings
4 saves

Joke: A blonde walks into a bar yelling, "65 days!"

A guy asks her, "What's in 65 days?"

The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"


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11 ratings
2 saves

Joke: A blonde asks her brunette friend, "Do you know what IDK stands for?"

Her friend replies, "I don't know."

The blonde replies, "OMG nobody does!"


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32 ratings
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Joke: A blonde girl and her boyfriend are at a bar watching the news. Suddenly a news story comes onto the screen, a man is standing on a bridge threatening to jump. The blonde says "I bet you $100 he doesn't jump."

Her boyfriend takes the bet and the man eventually jumps. After the blonde pays her boyfriend he admits to her "I saw this on the news an hour ago, take your money back."

She replies "I saw it too. I just never thought he would jump twice in one day!"


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23 ratings
5 saves

Joke: A blonde was taking helicopter lessons and she was finally ready to try it on her own. The instructor told her to radio him every 1000 feet to make sure everything was okay.

At 1000 feet she radioed him, "Everything is fine."

At 2000 feet she radioed him, "Everything is fine, just getting a little cold."

But before she reached 3000 feet the helicopter began to slowly come down. It crashed into the ground ruining the helicopter, but the blonde was fine. The instructor ran to her side to comfort her, "What happened?"

She replied, "I told you it was getting cold. So I shut off the giant fan."


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