Blonde Jokes

Joke: A blonde woman decides to start a handyman service to make some extra money. She walks around a wealthy neighborhood and walks up to the first house.

A man answers the door and she asks if there is anything she can do. He tells her "The porch need painted, how much would that cost?"

She replies "How does $50 sound?" He agrees and she gets to work.

When the man goes back into his house his wife asks him "Does she know the porch wraps around the house?" He tells her "She has to, she saw it."

About an hour later she comes to the door to collect her money. She says "I had extra paint so I put on two coats." The man is really impressed and gives her the money. She thanks him and says "And by the way, it's a BMW, not a porch."

Joke: A blonde started riding a horse. She jumped right on and the horse took off. She soon lost control and began flailing her arms around trying to regain control; she thought she was a goner for sure. If it wasn't for the Walmart greeter unplugging it who knows what could have happened.

Joke: A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks the blonde if she wants to play a game, "All you have to do is ask a question and if i get it wrong or don't know it i give you five dollars, then i ask you a question and if you get it wrong you pay me five dollars."

"No," she says, "I just want to sleep."

He keeps asking and she finally gives in when he says if he gets it wrong he will pay her five hundred dollars, but she still only has to pay five dollars.

"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" he asks.

She gives him 5 dollars. "What goes up the hill with four legs and comes down with five?" she asks.

He pulls out his laptop and searches it, but finds nothing. Then he emails his friends. After an hour, he still hasn't got an answer, he hands her 500 dollars. Then he asks her, "So what is the answer?"

She hands him 5 dollars.

Joke: A blonde walks into a bar yelling, "65 days!"

A guy asks her, "What's in 65 days?"

The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"

Joke: Three blondes are walking in the forest when they come across some tracks. The first blonde says "These are definitely rabbit tracks."

The second blonde says "Are you crazy? These are bear tracks."

The final blonde says "You're both wrong, these are moose tracks."

They argued for hours until finally the train hit them.