Blonde Jokes

Joke: Three blondes come to a river but can't figure out how to get across. One blonde says, "God, make me a fish so I can swim across the river." So she becomes a fish and swims across the river.

The next blonde woman says, "God, give me a canoe so I can make it across this river." A canoe pops up in the river and she makes it across.

The final blonde says, "God, make me smarter so I can make it across." Poof! She turns into a man and crosses the bridge.

Joke: A blonde woman was going through a very difficult time in her life. She lost her job, her family, and all of her money. With nothing left to do, she decided to pray, "God, please let me win the lottery. I've lost everything." But the lottery came and she didn't win.

She prayed once again, "God, I know the chance of winning the lottery is low, but I need it. Please let me win." But once again the lottery came and went and she didn't win.

At this point she started to get angry with God, "Listen here God, I need to win the lottery. You owe me that much."

Suddenly light beams descend from the sky and God appears before her. She asks him, "God, why can't you just let me win?"

God shakes his head and said, "I'm doing everything I can. Could you meet me half way and actually buy a ticket?."

Joke: A brunette woman challenges a blonde woman to a swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette tells her, "You have to breast stroke all the way."

The brunette finishes up the race within a few hours and waits for the blonde. She waits and waits and eventually falls asleep.

The next morning she wakes up to the blonde standing over her extremely angry yelling, "You used your arms!"

Joke: A blonde woman is pulled over on a by a police officer for swerving. He asks her, "Mam, why were you swerving all over the road?"

She looks relieved, "Sir! I'm glad you're here. I looked away for a second then there was a tree right in front of me. Then I swerved left and another tree was right there. Then right, then left."

The police officer bends over and looks into her car and reaches for the rear-view mirror, "Mam, this is your air freshener."

Joke: A blonde goes to the hospital with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her, "How did you manage this?"

The blonde replies, "Well I was ironing and recieved a phone call. I accidentally picked up the iron instead of the phone."

The doctor says, "That explains one ear."

She replies, "Well they called again!"