Blonde Jokes

 

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Joke: A brunette woman challenges a blonde woman to a swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette tells her, "You have to breast stroke all the way."

The brunette finishes up the race within a few hours and waits for the blonde. She waits and waits and eventually falls asleep.

The next morning she wakes up to the blonde standing over her extremely angry yelling, "You used your arms!"


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11 ratings
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Joke: How do you kill a dumb blonde?


Punch line: Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.


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10 ratings
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Joke: A blonde goes to the doctor and tells him she has been extremely moody lately and can't control her temper.

He suggests, "Sounds like stress. You should try getting some exercise. Run 10 miles a day and call me in a couple of weeks."

She does this and calls him in a couple of weeks, "I've been running every day and I do feel a little better."

He asks her, "And how's your family?"

She replies, "How would I know? I'm 140 miles away."


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17 ratings
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Joke: One day a blondes house catches on fire so she calls the police in a panic and hears "What is your emergency?"

She replies "My house is on fire hurry!"

The person on the other end responds "Mam, calm down and tell me where you are."

She yells back "My house! Come to my house!"

The person now annoyed says "We need more than that, how are we supposed to find you?"

The blonde gets mad and says "With your big red trucks!"


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Joke: Three men have been given life sentences and are allowed to bring one thing for fun. The first one brings a deck of cards. He says, "I brought these to pass the time when we're bored."

The second one brings a harmonica and says, "I brought this to cheer us up when we're down."

The final man, who happened to be blond, brought tampons. The other men ask him, "What the hell did you bring those for?"

He replies, "The back says you can swim, run, and play sports with these."


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