Good Riddles

 
Happy Deaths (medium)

Question: When it is alive we sing, when it is dead we clap our hands. What is it?

Question: A man is walking through the park one day and sees a group of four boys standing in a circle. A smaller boy is holding a large stick and hands it to a larger boy saying "I couldn't do it, your turn."

The larger boy swings the stick twice and the other two boys go to the ground. The smaller boy says "I'll get 'em next time." The man walks away smiling.

What just happened?

Question: A married couple went to the hospital to have theit baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He was asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try out for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer all the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

Question: A man wants to buy a used car. He finds a beautiful Buick for $9500, but he buys it without paying a dime.

How did he manage this?

Question: I'm heavy but not backwards.

What am I?