JokeLikeMe
DON

Joke: A man bought a golden ring for his blind wife at night. “I brought something for you. You might like it,” the man said. “What is it honey?” his wife asked. “It’s the Golden Ring,” the man replied. “Oh, sound’s good. Can I wear it now?” the wife asked. “Sure, it’s yours,” the man said. He took it from the box but it fell. He crawled and searched for the ring but something told him that the ring was not around in this area. So he sprinted outside where the streetlights were and he started to do the same thing again. A moment later, Mr Mallard (The man’s neighbour) was walking down the street and saw the man crawling. “Are you finding something, Daniel?” Mr Mallard asked. “Oh yes, I’m finding the golden ring,” Daniel replied. “Where did you lose it?” Mr Mallard asked. “I lost it at home,” Daniel replied. “So, why don’t you find it at home then?” Mr Mallard asked. “Well, there were no lights in my house and it’s really dark,” Daniel replied. “You lost that ring in your house. So you’ll probably find it around somewhere where you lost it,” Mr Mallard said. “You know that my eyes don’t work very well and the doctor told me not to search anything in the dark whether it's really important or not. I’ll knock my head again if I don't listen to him. I can't believe it. He was right. He'll be proud of me if I tell him what I did now,” Daniel cried.

Joke: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a chocolate bar?

Joke: The classroom was silent. Mrs Smith was handing out to students their last homework sheet. As she did it, she wrote the word plenipotentiary on the whiteboard. Then she turned around and said, " Attention boys and girls. This word is almost hardest English word in the world. So, your job is to put this word into a sentence. I'll give you an example for flower. "In the middle of the circle was a large teardrop shaped flower garden". You see? Nice and easy. Now, whoever made a sentence for the word plenipotentiary, there will be no homework for a month for him or her. So, start now. PLENIPOTENTIARY." Nobody seemed to do it but a boy called Darrell ( Stupidest kid in the classroom) far in the back raised his hand. Everybody stared at him and opened their mouth. Even Mrs Smith. " Oh Darrell, don't tell me you got it. I mean it is impossible for you to get the right answer for easy questions in the first place." Mrs Smith embarrassed him. Nearly everyone laughed. " No Miss, I actually got it. So here it goes, " In the classroom, the teacher shouted out the word plenipotentiary." " Darrell replied. Later, he went home knowing that he don't have to do homework for a month.

Joke: The bell rang 1 hour ago. Four boys rushed to the classroom and stopped when they saw their mad teacher called Mrs Smith, crossed her arms and looking disappointedly at them. She told them to lined up and asked reasons for being late for school to each of them. " Ryan, why are you late?" Mrs Smith asked. " Well, my watch is 30 minutes late." Ryan replied. " And Jack, why are you late?" Mrs Smith asked Jack. " Because, my dad's car tires burned out. So it took him 45 minutes to fix it." Jack replied. " How about you Aden? Why are you late?" Mrs Smith asked Aden. " I had a big breakfast this morning so, I walk slowly to school." Aden replied. As soon as Aden finished, Oliver started to cry. " What's wrong Oliver? I didn't even ask you yet." Mrs Smith asked Oliver. Oliver replies, " I know. I'm just crying because they all said my excuses which is I'm going to say it." Then, Mrs Smith yelled out, " WHAT!"

Joke: Yo mama is so dumb not even Google could translate her.

Joke: Yo Mama is so fat that the National Weather Service named each of her farts.

Joke: What do you call a huge mushroom?

Joke: What do you call the white umbrella and too small to cover you from rain?

Joke: What is the difference between the teacher and the train?

Joke: Four boys were late for school. The teacher started to ask them. Teacher said " Ryan, Why do you late?" Ryan replied "Well, my watch is 30 minutes late." Teacher said " Jack, why do you late? Jack replied " Because the tires burned out, so it takes 20 minutes to fix it. Teacher said " Aden, why do you late?" Aden replied " I had a big breakfast this morning, so i walk slowly to school." As soon as Aden finished, Oliver started to cry. Teacher said " Oliver why are you crying? I didn't even ask you yet. Oliver replies " They all said that excuses which is I'm going to say it."

Joke: Four boys were late for school. So the teacher ask them. Teacher: " Ryan, why were you late?" Ryan: " Because, my clock was 15 minutes late." Teacher: " Josh, why were you late?" Josh: " Because, tires got flat." Teacher: " Zack, why were you late?" Zack: " Because, I ate a lot of food this morning, so I walk slowly to school." After Zack finished, Oliver started to cry. The teacher asked " Why are you crying Oliver? I didn't even ask you yet." Oliver replies " They all said the excuses I am going to say." Teacher: "WHAT!"

Joke: Why does the boy take a ladder to school?