Funny Riddles

Question: You walk into a room with a rabbit holding a carrot, a pig eating slop, and a chimp holding a banana.Which animal in the room is the smartest?

Question: Two men are facing each other alone in a large room. There is a clock on the wall. One man, who thinks of himself as a prophet, says to the other, "In five minutes you'll be stabbed in the back."

The other man is very distraught and stares at the clock. After five minutes he is stabbed in the back.

What happened?

Question: What is it that no man wants, but no man wants to lose?

Question: Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?"

Little Johnny replies, "Seven!"

His teacher asks him again more slowly, "If I gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?"

But again Little Johnny replies, "Seven!"

Next she asks, "If I get two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would I have?"

Little Johnny replies, "Six!"

"Good Job Johnny! Now if I gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?"

Johnny thinks for a second, "Seven."

But Johnny is not wrong. Why?

Question: My shallow hills are the faces of kings.
My horizon is always near.
My music sends men to the grave.
My absence sends men to work.

What am I?