Funny Riddles

Question: There is a man who is a conductor on a train. He runs someone over so the conductor gets sentenced to death. He goes to an electric chair, the people that work there say, "it's your last day to live, what would you like to eat?" The man replies peanut butter and cereal, they turn on the electric chair and nothing happens. The next day he gets sent to a 10 times better electric chair there they say what would you like to eat and he says peanut butter and cereal, he eats the peanut butter and cereal, and they turn on the electric chair and nothing happens. The next day he gets sent to Alcatraz, they say what do you want to eat and he says peanut butter and cereal, they turn on the electric chair and nothing happens. The next day they send him to the best electric chair in the world they say what would you like to eat? He replies peanut butter and cereal, he eats a peanut butter and cereal, and they turn on the electric chair and nothing happens, they say why aren't you getting electrocuted? And the conductor says-

Question: If a pirate was to join the military, what branch of the armed service would they probably go in to?

Question: I join you in battle, fist clenched tight.
We pound three times with all our might.
If my rival decides he will sign for peace;
I'll crush him, and the fight will cease.
But if he lays his hand down flat;
I'll suffer defeat, that is that.

What am I?

Question: how do cows count?

Question: If you have two twins, three triplets and four quadruplets; how many people do you have?