Short Jokes

Joke: A doctor, a priest, and an army general are all flying in a plane together. To help the people the doctor drops a first aid kit and the priest drops a bible. The army general has nothing else to drop so he drops a grenade.

They land on the ground and first they find a man playing with the bandages from the first aid kit. Next they find a man unconscious on the ground with the bible next to him. Finally they come to a young boy who is laughing hysterically. When they ask him what is so funny he replies "My grandpa farted and my house exploded!"

Joke: A man goes to the supply store and buys 300 chicks. He tells the owner, "I'm going to start a chicken farm!"

A couple of weeks later he returns and buys 300 more. The owner thinks it's weird but doesn't ask any questions.

Another couple of weeks later he returns to make the same purchase. At this point the owner is baffled and asks, "Why do you come back every couple of weeks and make the same purchase?"

The would-be farmer replies, "Well, I must be doin' somethin' wrong. I'm either planting them too deep or too close together."

Joke: A blonde woman found herself in a blizzard and didn't know what to do. But suddenly she remembered some advice her father had given her, "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, just follow a plow."

Surely enough a plow soon comes by and she follows it. Forty-five minutes later the man driving the plow pulled over and confronted the blonde "What are you doing?"

She replies "My dad said if I get stuck in a blizzard I should follow a plow."

The man with the plow snickers "Well I'm done with Walmart, you want to follow me to Target?"

Joke: Three men are traveling though the dessert and they are very thirsty. They come to a mysterious water slide in the middle of the dessert that has instructions at the top: "Slide down and yell the drink of your choice and at the bottom you will find a pool of that beverage."

The three men are very excited. The first man slides down and yells "Milk!" He then falls into a pool of water.

The next man goes down and yells "Lemonade!" He falls into a pool full of it.

The final man goes down and overwhelmed with excitement he yells "Weeee!"

Joke: Four ladies are sitting together talking about their sons. The first one brags, "My son is is a bishop, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your excellence'."

The second lady brags, "My son is is a cardinal, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your eminence'."

The third lady brags, "My son is is the pope, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your holiness'."

The final lady says, "My son doesn't have a title, he weighs 500 pounds and is only 5 feet tall. But every time he walks into a room everybody says, 'Oh my god!'"