Long Jokes

Joke: One day a blondes house catches on fire so she calls the police in a panic and hears "What is your emergency?"

She replies "My house is on fire hurry!"

The person on the other end responds "Mam, calm down and tell me where you are."

She yells back "My house! Come to my house!"

The person now annoyed says "We need more than that, how are we supposed to find you?"

The blonde gets mad and says "With your big red trucks!"

Joke: A private is standing outside in the smoking area when he is approached by a young lieutenant, "Private, do you have change for a dollar?!"

The private replies, "I sure do pal."

The lieutenant yells back, "I am not your pal! You will address me as an officer and give me the respect I have earned maggot! Stand at attention and tell me again, do you have change for a dollar?"

The private, now standing perfectly erect says, "Sir, no sir!"

Joke: 1. You can't wash yours eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried # 3. 6. When you did 3 you realized it was possible, but you looked like a dog when you did it. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped # 5. 9. You just checked to see if there was a 5. Add a comment if I got you!

Joke: A guy takes his girlfriend to prom. Before prom day he had to get a tuxedo. The store had a very long line. After he got out of the store he went to a florist to get a corsage. At the shop he had to wait in an enormous line before buying the corsage.

When they arrive at prom they have to wait in an extremely long line at the door. Once in, his girlfriend gets hungry so they wait in a long buffet line. Then she gets thirsty and there is no punchline.

Joke: There is a blonde, brunette, and a red head running away from a bad guy and they decide to hide in a barn. They all quickly find hiding spots. The red head hides behind a cow, the brunette hides behind a horse, and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes.

The bad guy comes in and when he passes the cow the red head says "Moo!". When he passes the horse the brunette says "Nay!" Finally he comes to the potatoes and the blonde says "PO-TA-TOE!"