50 ratings
2 saves
Joke: A doctor, a priest, and an army general are all flying in a plane together. To help the people the doctor drops a first aid kit and the priest drops a bible. The army general has nothing else to drop so he drops a grenade.
They land on the ground and first they find a man playing with the bandages from the first aid kit. Next they find a man unconscious on the ground with the bible next to him. Finally they come to a young boy who is laughing hysterically. When they ask him what is so funny he replies "My grandpa farted and my house exploded!"
10 ratings
2 saves
Joke: A devout Christian named Tom is on his deathbed. His pastor arrives and comes into his room. As soon as the pastor steps in Tom's condition worsens. The pastor quickly hands him a piece of paper to write one final message on. Tom quickly scribbles a message and shoves it back to the pastor. The pastor thinks it would be better if he waits to open the message so he puts it in his pocket. Tom dies.
At Tom's funeral the pastor decides to share his final note with everyone. He pulls it out and reads it aloud, "Asshole! Get off of my oxygen tube!"
18 ratings
0 saves
By JokeLikeMe
Joke: Four boys were late for school. So the teacher ask them. Teacher: " Ryan, why were you late?" Ryan: " Because, my clock was 15 minutes late." Teacher: " Josh, why were you late?" Josh: " Because, tires got flat." Teacher: " Zack, why were you late?" Zack: " Because, I ate a lot of food this morning, so I walk slowly to school." After Zack finished, Oliver started to cry. The teacher asked " Why are you crying Oliver? I didn't even ask you yet." Oliver replies " They all said the excuses I am going to say." Teacher: "WHAT!"
23 ratings
3 saves
Joke: A man named Tom meets a man named Clark at a party on the 30th floor of a building. They get to talking and Clark tells Tom that the wind is just right so that if you jump out the window you will circle the building and fly right back in. Tom naturally doesn't believe him. Clark proves it by jumping out the window a few times and coming right back in. Finally Tom believes him and he jumps out of the window breaking every bone in his body.
Clark's girlfriend Lois turns to him and says "You can be a real jerk when you're drunk superman."
10 ratings
3 saves
Joke: A man and his wife go to the doctor's office. After the doctor sees him he calls in his wife and she asks "Is my husband okay Doctor?"
The doctor replies "Well, he will be if you do everything I say. You have to prepare all of his meals for him every day. You also have to do all of his chores, never nag at him, and most importantly you must massage him three times a day. Do this for about a year and he will live."
Later in the car the husband asks his wife what the doctor said and she replies "He said you were going to die."
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