Good Jokes

Joke: Chuck Norris has a large grizzly bear carpet in his house. The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.

Joke: Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is common sense.

Joke: When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls... From Chuck Norris.

Joke: A man comes home to his blonde wife crying violently. When he asks her what's wrong she replies "I've been working on this puzzle all day, but I can't figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger."

Her husband grabs her hand gently and replies "Honey, put away the box of frosted flakes."

Joke: Two sisters, one is blonde and one is brunette, are trying to start a farm. The brunette sister finds a prized bull in the classified and leaves to check it out. She tells the blonde that she will contact her to come haul the bull back to the farm if she decides to buy it.

The brunette goes to the farm and decides to buy it. The farmer tells her that the bull will cost exactly $599, no less. So she buys the bull and heads to town to contact her sister. The only person she can find to help her is a telegraph operator.

The operator tells her "It costs 99 cents per word, what would you like to send?"

The brunette replies "Well I only have $1 left." She thinks for a while and tells the operator she wants to send the word 'comfortable.'

The operator asks "How will she know you bought the bull and want her to bring the haul from the word comfortable?"

The blonde replies "She's a slow reader."