Good Jokes

Joke: A Nobel Prize winning mathematician is traveling from university to university on a speaking tour by limousine. After several engagements the mathematician and his driver are having dinner and the driver says "I've heard your speech so many times I think I could give it word-for-word." The mathematician accepts the challenge and they switch places for the next speech; the driver dresses like the professor and the professor dresses as the driver and sits in the back of the auditorium.

The driver gives the speech flawlessly and opens up the floor for question, usually there are none. But one of the students at the university has a very large ego and decides to attempt to stump the Nobel Prize winner. After the student asks his question for ten straight minutes the driver laughs and says "That question is so simple I'll let my driver in the back answer it."

Joke: Why do mathematicians get confused between Halloween and Christmas?

Joke: A blonde girl and her boyfriend are at a bar watching the news. Suddenly a news story comes onto the screen, a man is standing on a bridge threatening to jump. The blonde says "I bet you $100 he doesn't jump."

Her boyfriend takes the bet and the man eventually jumps. After the blonde pays her boyfriend he admits to her "I saw this on the news an hour ago, take your money back."

She replies "I saw it too. I just never thought he would jump twice in one day!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Pea catch!
Pea catch who?
I choose you!

Joke: What bee does well in school?