Good Jokes

Joke: A king is about to go to war so he locks up his beautiful wife and hands his best friend a key, "If I'm not back in 4 days, she's yours."

The king rides off to war, but he immediately sees his friend riding up beside him. "What's wrong?" Demands the king.

His friend replies with labored breath, "Wrong key."

Joke: A blonde girl takes her goldfish to the vet and tells the vet "I think my goldfish is having seizures."

The vet looks into the bowl, "Looks fine to me."

The girl snaps back at him, "Hold on! Let me get him out of his bowl first!"

Joke: Gold and fluorine walk into a bar and fluorine starts reacting badly with some of the other people. The bartender gets mad and says "AU, get the F out of here!"

Joke: Yo mama is so fat, when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 episodes!

Joke: Four ladies are sitting together talking about their sons. The first one brags, "My son is is a bishop, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your excellence'."

The second lady brags, "My son is is a cardinal, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your eminence'."

The third lady brags, "My son is is the pope, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your holiness'."

The final lady says, "My son doesn't have a title, he weighs 500 pounds and is only 5 feet tall. But every time he walks into a room everybody says, 'Oh my god!'"