Good Jokes

Joke: What's green and sings?

Joke: A man dies and goes to Heaven. Immediately God explains to him the basics of Heaven, "In Heaven a penny is worth a million dollars and a minute lasts a million years."

The guy says, "Sweet, can I have a penny?"

God replies, "In a minute!"

Joke: One day I was walking across a bridge when I saw a man about to jump off. I immediately shouted to him, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why not?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are you religious or not?"

"I am!"

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

To this I replied, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

Joke: Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Razor.
Razor who?
Razor hands! This is a stick up!