Good Jokes

Joke: Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1!

Joke: There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit the hotel bar. Upon arriving to the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied "Everything is big in Texas."

A little later the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped and entered the third door. This door lead to the swimming pool and he fell in by accident.

Scared to death, he started shouting "Don't flush, don't flush!"

Joke: One day, a mathematician decides he wants to be a firefighter. So he quits his job and applies to be a firefighter. But the chief doesn't think he is qualified so he gives him a test. He takes him to the alley and sets a dumpster on fire. He asks the mathematician, "What do you do?" The mathematician immediately grabs a hose and puts out the fire.

The chief then asks him, "Now that the fire is out, what do you do?"

Stumped, the mathematician thinks for a minute and says "I can reduce this problem into a problem with known solutions." With this he pulls out a match and sets the dumpster on fire.

Joke: Girlfriend: What are you doing?
Mathematician: Just wrestling with these unknowns in bed.
Girlfriend: What?!
Mathematician: Yeah. Just a minute ago I was working out some models.
*Hangs up*
Mathematician: Oh you thought... Hello?

Joke: What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair a different color?