Good Jokes

 

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Joke: Bill Gates was out fishing when his pole started to jiggle. He reels in the fish and the fish asks him, "Please don't eat me, can't you throw me back?"

Bill replies, "Woah, a talking fish! I was going to throw you back anyways."

The fish swims away then turns back, "Now that you let me go, how about a wish?"

Mr. Gates replies, "Okay, what do you want?"


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Joke: What'd the man's magic 8-ball tell him when he asked it what email client he should use?


Punch line: It said, "Outlook not so good."


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Joke: A blonde goes to the hospital with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her, "How did you manage this?"

The blonde replies, "Well I was ironing and recieved a phone call. I accidentally picked up the iron instead of the phone."

The doctor says, "That explains one ear."

She replies, "Well they called again!"


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Joke: Two guys walk into a bar. They look to the right and see a doctor, a priest, and a Rabbi. They look ahead and see a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They look to the left and see a genie, a chicken, and a salesman.

One of the guys turns to the other, "Lets get out of here. This place is a joke."


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Joke: A man walks into the bar and says, "Pour me a stiff one! Just got into another fight with the old lady."

The bartender asks him, "How'd it end this time?"

The man replies, "She came crawling back to me on her hands and knees."

The bartender is surprised, "Wow, that's a change. What'd she say?"

The man says, "She said, 'Come out from under there, you little bitch.'"


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