Good Jokes

Joke: Two guys walk into a bar. They look to the right and see a doctor, a priest, and a Rabbi. They look ahead and see a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They look to the left and see a genie, a chicken, and a salesman.

One of the guys turns to the other, "Lets get out of here. This place is a joke."

Joke: A man goes to the supply store and buys 300 chicks. He tells the owner, "I'm going to start a chicken farm!"

A couple of weeks later he returns and buys 300 more. The owner thinks it's weird but doesn't ask any questions.

Another couple of weeks later he returns to make the same purchase. At this point the owner is baffled and asks, "Why do you come back every couple of weeks and make the same purchase?"

The would-be farmer replies, "Well, I must be doin' somethin' wrong. I'm either planting them too deep or too close together."

Joke: Two cows are eating grass in a meadow. One cow asks the other "I've heard Mad Cow Disease has been going around. You worried?"

The other one says "Why should I be? I'm a purple trapezoid."

Joke: How do you kill a dumb blonde?

Joke: A man and his wife are driving down the road as the wife says, "I want a divorce."

The man says nothing, just speeds up slightly.

The woman continues, "That's not all. I'm taking the house, the car, the kids, and the bank account."

The man remains a statue, only speeding up a little.

The woman, getting angry, yells at him, "Don't you have anything to say?"

The man replies, "Nope. I have everything I need."

The woman asks him, "What do you have?"

Just as they are about to slam into a tree going 100 MPH the man yells, "The airbag bitch!"