Good Jokes

Joke: Stalin is giving a big speech when somebody sneezes, he abruptly stops, "Who was that?"

Nobody says a word. Stalin commands, "Execute the first row." The guards do so. "Now who was it?!"

Again nobody says anything. He commands, "Now the second row."

At this point a meek voice chirps, "It was me."

Stalin looks at the man and leans forward, "Bless you, comrade!"

Joke: Two men lost separated from their wives at a festival and are looking for them. They decide to help each other out. One man asks the other, "So what does your wife look like?"

He pulls out a picture and replies, "She's tall, blonde, fit, huge tits, voluptuous ass, beautiful face and loves sex. How about your wife?"

The other guy grabs the photo, "Screw her, lets just find yours."

Joke: Yo mama so ugly when she went to McDonald's they stopped selling happy meals.

Joke: A mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant are all up for the same job. The board asks each of them the same section, "What is 100 + 200?"

The mathematician replies, "300."

The statistician replies, "300, with 95 % certainty."

The accountant says in a hushed voice, "What do you want it to be?" He gets the job.

Joke: What is the best way to keep water from running?