Good Jokes

Joke: A man walks into the bar and says, "Pour me a stiff one! Just got into another fight with the old lady."

The bartender asks him, "How'd it end this time?"

The man replies, "She came crawling back to me on her hands and knees."

The bartender is surprised, "Wow, that's a change. What'd she say?"

The man says, "She said, 'Come out from under there, you little bitch.'"

Joke: Mrs. Smith is teaching her 3rd grade class and tells them, "Human beings are the only species that can stutter."

A little girl named Emily replies, "That's not true, my little kitty stuttered the other day. Our neighbor's dog jumped over the fence the other day and my kitty said, 'Ffffff! Ffffff! Ffffff!'."

Mrs. Smith asks, "How is that stuttering?"

Emily replies, "Before she could say 'fuck' the dog got her."

Joke: What was the best part of the antennas wedding?

Joke: What do ducks like to smoke?

Joke: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?