Good Jokes

Joke: How do you wake Lady Gaga up in the morning?

Joke: How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?

Joke: A man is jogging down the road and he sees a boy eating a candy bar with a ton of wrappers sitting next to him. The man tells him "Kid, it isn't good for you to sit there all day eating candy bars."

The kid scowls at him and says "Hey mister, my grandpa is 98 years old and still walking around."

The jogger asks him "And he sits around eating candy all day?"

The boy replies "No, but he minds his own business."

Joke: It was so cold out today, I saw a lawyer put his hands in his own pockets.

Joke: How do you know you're driving way too fast on the road?